tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35424602008-06-03T01:28:24.850-07:00Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comBlogger738125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-61529625795540385232008-06-03T00:43:00.000-07:002008-06-03T01:28:24.915-07:00

Has it really been a year since I've updated this thing? Since it's entirely possible another 12 months will pass before I bother to post something here, the least I can do is leave this stunning picture of a rainbow so that anyone unlucky to stumble upon this moribund web presence has something pretty to look at. Enjoy!

Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09185343776245552072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-52183618852727333752007-05-31T21:52:00.001-07:002007-05-31T22:00:33.333-07:00

Back on Monday, this mostly abandoned blog celebrated its fifth birthday with little fanfare. To belatedly commemorate this meaningless occasion, here is a picture of some pandas trying to eat a "cake."

Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09185343776245552072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1170621966615711712007-02-04T12:37:00.000-08:002007-02-04T12:48:45.116-08:00

Only a madman would bet against a head coach who can summon the supernatural powers of Bat Boy. Prediction: Colts 145, Bears 17.

Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09185343776245552072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1152478684976303152006-07-09T13:43:00.000-07:002006-07-09T14:05:51.176-07:00

Italy wins, blogger of Italian extraction pretends to have been huge soccer fan all along.

Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09185343776245552072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1142907393914006622006-03-20T18:10:00.000-08:002006-03-20T18:16:33.930-08:00

5. "Goodbye Crule World" by James Darren 4. "Smeels Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana 3. "There Go'es Another Love Song" by The Outlaws 2. "Revolutation" by the Beatles 1. "I'm Henry the IIIV, I Am" by Herman's Hermits And yes, I really took the time to write them down.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1141871920292659882006-03-08T18:23:00.000-08:002006-03-08T18:38:40.340-08:00

A couple of friends and I went downtown last weekend and caught part of a location shoot for Spider-Man 3. People are making such a big deal about the new costume, but why isn't anyone talking about the fact that they've replaced Tobey Maguire with a little person? Sure, I kid, but this guy really was wandering around the shoot and even drew a couple of the cameramen away from the set to take

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1139901873568309992006-02-13T23:13:00.000-08:002006-02-13T23:24:33.590-08:00

Regardless of our political leanings, surely we can all agree that this is not the face of a man who would intentionally spray buckshot in the grill of a fellow quail hunter.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1136864118083761432006-01-09T19:28:00.000-08:002006-01-09T19:35:18.096-08:00

It's not like I have anything against 2005 per se, it's just that my New Year's resolution was to push that artistic rendering of Nick Denton's head down the page a little, and maybe post to this site more than once every four months. I've never been too ambitious about these things.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1127958966344188502005-09-28T18:36:00.000-07:002005-09-28T18:57:55.903-07:00

"Brutal, reporter-over-drinks-style honesty would—and has, especially in blogland—also note that Mr. Denton’s face, though not lopsided, is mounted on a gigantic head, a head worthy of Linus Van Pelt or Antoine Walker." --NY Observer I'll bet you three hundred dollars that Nick has absolutely no idea who Antoine Walker is, but he's right; that head really needs to be seen in person to be truly

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1121467458189903552005-07-15T15:36:00.000-07:002005-07-15T15:53:36.526-07:00

In Honor Of Christopher Walken's moving turn in Wedding Crashers, please enjoy this splash of faux reportage from August of 2003. It seems that everyone in New York is sitting around and staring at each other. Since those of us who find ourselves held against our will in Los Angeles are terribly sensitive about feeling left out of any East Coast fun, I thought it prudent to import a diluted,

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1121403986916974752005-07-14T22:01:00.000-07:002005-07-14T22:06:26.923-07:00

Just As Soon as I figure out who Karl Rove is and learn about the naughty thing he did, I promise to adjust my outrage to the proper level. But even in my state of blissful ignorance, I suspect that he'll receieve nothing less than a big promotion unless there's video of him forcibly sodomizing a knapsack full of baby squirrels.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1117161527845696662005-05-26T19:34:00.000-07:002005-06-27T18:19:13.826-07:00

In The Future, every elevator in the world will play Coldplay's "Speed of Sound."

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1116555194885893942005-05-19T18:46:00.000-07:002005-05-19T19:14:18.076-07:00

In Honor Of tonight's Apprentice finale (which has yet to air on the West Coast), here's a smattering of my observations on the first season of Trump's love letter to himself. America never had it quite so good: · Robin The Fake Receptionist's Fake Job Duties · "The Hottest Blizzard": An Erotically-Charged Appreciation Of Carolyn Kepcher · Trump Ice: Salvation In The Form of Bottled Water ·

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1112750445441875802005-04-05T18:00:00.000-07:002005-04-05T18:23:26.050-07:00

A Good Publicist wouldn't have forced Mr. Murder to go through the not inconsiderable inconvenience of changing his name, and instead would have played up the fact that the C stands for "cuddly." I really resent having to tell people how to do their jobs. It makes them look inept, and it makes me seem like a know-it-all.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1111993124793877842005-03-27T22:55:00.000-08:002005-03-27T23:00:32.840-08:00

Is It Just me, or does it look like this guy's in the middle of getting a great response from a job listing?

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1109638436050630112005-02-28T16:34:00.000-08:002005-02-28T16:55:14.176-08:00

--OR-- Self-Promotional Media Whore Corner When I Moved to Los Angeles some 4 and a half years ago, I had only two goals: 1. Appear on television to discuss Hilary Duff's panties. 2. Get quoted in a major New York newspaper using either of the following words: "cauldron" or "cockfight." Retirement is imminent. Also, this is what I got for winning my friends' Oscar pool (via a tie-breaker,

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1109233777938713532005-02-24T00:20:00.000-08:002005-02-24T00:29:37.946-08:00

In Honor Of the imminent release of former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer's book, Taking Heat: The President, the Press, and My Years in the White House, I've reached back into the archives and present this nugget from the past. Enjoy, for even though I haven't yet received my galley, I suspect our encounter has been lost to history. Sendoff [7/15/03] Ari Fleischer and I are drunk.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1108436683002612862005-02-14T18:56:00.000-08:002005-02-14T19:06:40.703-08:00

I Bought This at a garage sale this weekend for a mere dollar, and it will easily carry the most favorable cost/enjoyment ratio of anything I currently own. Scoff if you will at the idea of Mr. Macchio as a gifted blues guitarist locked in a battle with the devil for his very soul, but my delight in this picture is completely unironic.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1103955161809760442004-12-24T21:46:00.000-08:002004-12-24T22:13:33.996-08:00

In The Next 24 hours, I will hear Manheim Steamroller's rendition of "Deck the Halls" no fewer than a dozen times. For those of you unfamiliar with this particular holiday instrumental, it can best be described as the sound of R2D2 forcibly sodomizing a Simon in an alley off of Main Street USA while the Christmas Eve Electric Parade passes. Merry Christmas to all. And to all, a good night.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1103430700052270192004-12-18T20:04:00.000-08:002004-12-18T20:36:08.256-08:00

There was a tiny little part of me, a part whose existence I am loathe to acknowledge, that was deathly afraid that I would fall hopelessly in love with my televised image, a fate that befalls so many other people in this town. Luckily, thirteen seconds of air time (culled from an hour of semi-coherent pop culture babbling) forever cured me of any such fears. I am, however, actively researching

Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09185343776245552072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1100767417552207232004-11-18T01:35:00.000-08:002004-11-18T00:43:37.553-08:00

In Honor Of our old friend Condi Rice's appointment to the post of Secretary of State, we direct all frustrated copy editors to our "classic" post on the most common misspellings of her name in hopes that they can avoid the mistakes of the past.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1099600902062309172004-11-04T13:21:00.000-08:002004-11-04T12:41:42.063-08:00

It Seems That the proverbial cat is out of the clichéd bag.

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1098326295692540342004-10-20T19:30:00.000-07:002004-10-20T19:42:46.410-07:00

All I Have to say about Game 7 is this: God must be setting up the Red Sox for a fairly spectacular tragedy in the World Series. A sweep? No, it's got to be bigger than that. A seventh-game loss on a bases-loaded walk, followed by the flaming Goodyear Blimp crashing onto the Fenway grass? And the cursed dirigible just so happens to be filled with plague-infected weasels trained to attack

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1097031986721586012004-10-05T19:31:00.000-07:002004-10-05T20:10:09.086-07:00

After Watching About fifteen seconds of the vice presidential debate, I'm pretty sure that Dick Cheney is Satan. I'm not speaking metaphorically; it seems obvious that beneath Cheney's Brooks Brothers suit beats a heart powered by a furnace of hellflame. When Lynne Cheney retires to bed each night, Dick giddily dons red footy pajamas, hops into a sleigh pulled by a pack of three-headed dogs, and

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542460.post-1095396294911882212004-09-16T21:26:00.000-07:002004-09-16T21:55:29.633-07:00

Watching The Apprentice hopefuls sitting around the suite and waiting for the front door to open so that they can finally see who was the first person fired by Trump kind of felt like sitting around and discussing, and then second-guessing, the mom in Sophie's Choice. Let them take the boy, girls are so fragile and cute. It's the man's lots to suffer for the family, to go to war. He's just

Bunsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16364914812101789285noreply@blogger.com