I Am Still Trying To Kick Your Ass


OK, Little Man, so you’re a millionaire now (though, in fairness to real millioaires, who earned their money in more dignified ways, just barely). And do you know what happens to millionaires, besides the aforementioned ass-kickings? People kidnap their babies for ransom–you can look it up: the Lindbergh baby, the one in Raising Arizona. It happens. I’m definitely not in the kidnapping game, so don’t worry about me taking your baby, if you even have one. I’m just warning you because the ass-kicking, should it finally occur, should happen in front of your baby for maximum nerd humiliation. Your streak continues, and my lust for nerd-beating grows in a directly proportional ratio. With every question answered and each Audio Daily Double successfully played, my rage grows.

Expect it.

Resign yourself.

Stock up on iodine and Ace bandages, Stephen Hawking. And please, no authorities. Just me, you, an ass-kicking, and the wreckage of your motorized wheelchair.