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Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Vice Presidential Debate Analysis

 
After Watching About fifteen seconds of the vice presidential debate, I'm pretty sure that Dick Cheney is Satan. I'm not speaking metaphorically; it seems obvious that beneath Cheney's Brooks Brothers suit beats a heart powered by a furnace of hellflame. When Lynne Cheney retires to bed each night, Dick giddily dons red footy pajamas, hops into a sleigh pulled by a pack of three-headed dogs, and spends the remainder of his evening circling the globe, running errands such as poking hungry Guatemalan babies in the stomach with a miniature pitchfork. After he's through collecting their anguished cries in a purse made from the skin of drowned, albino kittens he prepares for his morning meetings at the White House.

I'm not exactly sure how I got this from an answer about supporting our troops in Iraq, but whatever. It seems fairly obvious that Cheney's trademark sneer was lovingly crafted in Vulcan's infernal forge.



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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