Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Vice Presidential Debate Analysis
After Watching About fifteen seconds of the vice presidential debate, I'm pretty sure that Dick Cheney is Satan. I'm not speaking metaphorically; it seems obvious that beneath Cheney's Brooks Brothers suit beats a heart powered by a furnace of hellflame. When Lynne Cheney retires to bed each night, Dick giddily dons red footy pajamas, hops into a sleigh pulled by a pack of three-headed dogs, and spends the remainder of his evening circling the globe, running errands such as poking hungry Guatemalan babies in the stomach with a miniature pitchfork. After he's through collecting their anguished cries in a purse made from the skin of drowned, albino kittens he prepares for his morning meetings at the White House.
I'm not exactly sure how I got this from an answer about supporting our troops in Iraq, but whatever. It seems fairly obvious that Cheney's trademark sneer was lovingly crafted in Vulcan's infernal forge.