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Thursday, May 13, 2004

The Classified Abu Ghraib Prisoner Photo Poses Memo

 
People Send Me the strangest things. Just a few minutes ago, this item from someone at a "dot gov" address landed in my inbox.


CLASSIFIED

TO: ALL ABU GHRAIB DETENTION STAFF

TO BE IMMEDIATELY PHOTOGRAPHED:

List of Humiliating Poses For Iraqi POW Detainees

1. Pillowcase/Shawl "Batman," preferably standing on a box, preferably pantomining crucifixion.

2. Naked prisoner pyramid formation (various) with approving, "thumbs-up" gesture (various).

3. Female Enlisted pointing to exposed prisoner genitalia. "Thumbs-up" gesture preferred.

4. Naked "Superman," with prayer rug as cape, preferably prostrate on box to simulate flight.

5. Once Classified construction of Abu Ghraib Dentention Facility giant chessboard is completed, naked prisoners should be posed as if playing game of chess. Lighter-skinned detainees versus darker-skinned preferred.

6. Naked prisoner "Duck, Duck, Goose" formation, with Male Enlisted as the "Ducker." "Thumbs-up" gesture not necessary, but ME should appear to be tapping prisoners on the head, as if he doesn't know which one to "Goose."

REMEMBER, DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY IS SAFE AND TOTALLY LEAK-PROOF. EMAIL ALL PHOTOGRAPHY TO DRUMMY@SECRETARY.DOD.GOV AS SOON AS POSSIBLE FOR INCLUSION IN WHITE HOUSE FATHER'S DAY CARD.

[SIGNATURE CLASSIFIED]






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This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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