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Thursday, April 01, 2004

 

An Immodest Proposal To Dispossess Me of My Modesty



I Know That I don't discuss my private life often enough with you, my internet buddies. Today's as good a day as any to start.

So...

OK, I don't know how to say this except to just say it. I'm a...virgin.

There, I said it. There's something really cathartic about this soul-bearing stuff, ya know?

Anyway, I'm not getting any younger, and one day I think I'm going to get married. And I don't want to show up at my honeymoon without having, er, taken the equipment out for a test drive. That probably a mixed metaphor, but whatevs. You all know what I mean.

This is where you come in. There are a bunch of available, semi-available, and possibly-available-in-the-name-of-helping-out-a-fellow-inexperienced-blogger female bloggers out there. Wonderful ladies that might be able to help me with my "problem." (I really shouldn't call it a problem, because it's totally cool to be a virgin if your religious or personal beliefs run that way. I'm not one to judge.)

So, bloggin' sistas...who can help me? Some of you have men in your lives. Hopefully they'll understand!

In the interest of being more open with my readers (all ten of you, you rock!), I'll post the best responses here.

C'mon, Elizabeth, Maccers, Eurotrash, Hag, Lindsay, Zulkey, Sarah, Anna, Emma, Choire (Gawker's written by a girl, right?), Jessica, Kerry! Hell, TMFTML's probably drunk enough to give it a go!

I don't want to sound like I won't be tender and caring, but in the words of an immortal love poet, "Let's get it on!"

Hope to hear from you soon!



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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