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Wednesday, March 03, 2004

 

When She Saw Uma, Diane Keaton Nearly Crapped Herself With What We Hope Was Relief



Most People Agree that Uma Thurman's Christian Lacroix-designed "Swiss Miss Soliciting an Undercover Vice Cop" get-up made her the Worst Dressed at the Academy Awards.

Fresh off both the critical acclaim and box-office success of Kill Bil, Vol. 1, Thurman had every top fashionista clamoring to dress her. The tragedy of her buzz is that she had to turn down all but one.

Rejected Uma Thurman Oscar® Outfits

  • Marc Jacob's "Little Bo Peep Drops Ecstasy with Her Fabulous Sheep"

  • Valentino's Peter Jackson/fat guy in an ill-fitting tuxedo

  • Giorgio Armani's marinara-soaked, red-checkered Italian bistro tablecloth

  • David Cardona's* "Lara Flynn Boyle as an Even More Anorexic Than a Normal Ballerina" Tutu II

  • Donna Karan's "Goldilocks Sexually Assaulted by the Three Bears"

  • Donatella Versace's Marjan Pejoski's** Bjork-swan with Madonna's metal bra-cones welded onto the chest

  • Mel Gibson's Passion blood-spattered loincloth





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    *Please be advised that I know nothing of obscure designers, but Google does.
    **See above, noting very real possibility that these designers are not, in fact, obscure.





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    This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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