The Greatest Blog In the World

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

 

Soon After, the Artist Introduced the Color "Members Only Red" into Her Palette



Jacko's Grand Jury hearing on child molestation charges has begun in a secret courtroom in a hollowed out mountain fortress somewhere in California.

Overheard: Barely Audible Things Muttered Under the Breath of Michael Jackson's Courtroom Sketch Artist

The hair's a piece of cake. Do a little James Brown, a little Whitney watching Bobby Brown's arraignment, maybe a touch of that female Santa Barbara DA with the great "Rachel", and I'm home... Gotta lay down the skin tone. Think, woman, think. Let's put down a layer of Dutch Chocolate, then smudge it over with some Vanilla Fudge. Hmmm. If I dab it with a hanky... Yeah, that's the stuff... Tomorrow I'm bringing the big charcoal set, what was I thinking... Cut in the cheekbones with my thumbnail. God, I'd kill for those. Like a supermodel on an all-laxative diet... Hold that pose, hold that pose! Shit, missed it! I know, I know, I'm procrastinating on the nose. We'll do the mouth first. Is it really that close to his ear? Am I exaggerating? OK, Michael, just don't smile and people will think I know what I'm doing. Oh, oh... He saw the boy and smiled. Stop smiling, OK? People are gonna think we just took a picture anyway... Eyes, eyes, you're like nice pies... Mascara was probably not appropriate for court, but hoookay... Nose time. Deep breath. You can do this. You're good enough. You've got nothing to lose, everyone knows it's a fake. No! Be a pro. Draw it as it is. Even if you can see inside it and his head is leaning forward. Concentrate. OK. It's fruit-bat-meets-glory-hole. That's disgusting. Listen, just give him the Halle Berry at the hit-and-run trial and be done with it. I'm such a fucking fraud. No. I'll get it tomorrow. I'll be better tomorrow.



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
If You Like Bunsen, Then You'll Love Bunsen
-->

Archives