Annals of Celebrity Romance Dept.
Tom And Penelope call it quits.
Prepare yourself for the inevitable headlines:
Tom Puts Penelope on Curb, Keeps Cruising Down Santa Monica Boulevard
Beard Clipped
Nicole to Penelope: "I Told You So"
Vanilla Sky, Chocolate Highways: There Will Be No Cruise and Cruz Sequel
Tom: "Penelope Just Didn't 'Get' Dianetics, Refused to Name First-Born 'L.Ron'"
Thinly-Veiled Reference to the Possibility that Tom Cruise Might Not Be Totally Forthcoming About His Private Life, Leaving Just Enough Wiggle Room to Avoid a Lawsuit from His Insane Lawyers
Cruise, Already on the Rebound, Asks: "Hey, What's Liza Minelli Up To? She Foxy"
Cruz Confides to Bunsen Lawyer Friend: She Tired of All the Totally Straight, Missionary Sex Ten Times a Day
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