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Friday, March 26, 2004

 

Annals of Celebrity Romance Dept.



Tom And Penelope call it quits.

Prepare yourself for the inevitable headlines:

  • Tom Puts Penelope on Curb, Keeps Cruising Down Santa Monica Boulevard

  • Beard Clipped

  • Nicole to Penelope: "I Told You So"

  • Vanilla Sky, Chocolate Highways: There Will Be No Cruise and Cruz Sequel

  • Tom: "Penelope Just Didn't 'Get' Dianetics, Refused to Name First-Born 'L.Ron'"

  • Thinly-Veiled Reference to the Possibility that Tom Cruise Might Not Be Totally Forthcoming About His Private Life, Leaving Just Enough Wiggle Room to Avoid a Lawsuit from His Insane Lawyers

  • Cruise, Already on the Rebound, Asks: "Hey, What's Liza Minelli Up To? She Foxy"

  • Cruz Confides to Bunsen Lawyer Friend: She Tired of All the Totally Straight, Missionary Sex Ten Times a Day




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    This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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