Tuesday, February 03, 2004
MAYBE NOW I can finally put this Janet Jackson business to bed like a collicky child that you just can't listen to for one more second, Jesus, why doesn't it stop crying?
In what can be extrapolated into a landmark victory in the ongoing war between Big Online Media versus Scrappy, Unpaid Internet Upstarts With Too Much Time on Their Hands, King Kaufman of Salon.com has acknowledged that he was scooped for the "first" and "exclusive" interview with Janet's exposed breast by yours truly.
It's just a testament to one man's ability to drunkenly scream until someone at his party points him to the nearest internet connection, weave himself down the hallway to a laptop with dial-up, somehow retrieve some basic HTML code from his alcohol-perforated mind, and hit "publish" before vomiting all over his host's bedroom. When faced with the prospect of watching the beginning of the second half of the Super Bowl or posting some nonsense about talking to the boob of some washed-up popstar singing the hits of 1991, which would you choose?
I thought so.
It's really a victory for us all.
Note to Jann Wenner: I know of an internet "magazine" that could definitely use some of your Rolling Stone bucks to prop it up. Just click here and let the influx of venture capital begin.
An additional, sing-songy note to Salon.com: Call me!