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Sunday, February 08, 2004

 

Just Wait To Hear How I Get If I Ever See Peter Gallagher Feeding Tate Donovan Skinned Grapes at House of Blues



While Roughly Fifteen million people packed into the Staples Center to watch something called "The Whammys," [ed.--check the spelling, would you?] yours truly was out sampling the wonders of the local indie rock scene. It warms the very cockles of my heart to present to you...

My First Celebrity Gossip/Canoodling Post, Complete With Boldface Names

Caught! The OC's Adam "Seth Cohen" Brody and Rachel "Summer" Bilson canoodling in the upstairs loft VIP lounge at LA's storied Troubadour rock club, taking in one-time MTV buzz-bin castoffs turned indie-rock darlings Nada Surf.

[Or should I have gone with Item! instead? I'm so nervous! Jesus, it's as if I'd never seen sizzling on-screen chemistry blossom into beautiful and tender real-world feelings. Quick, come up with something snappy and get out of this with a shred of dignity. ]

No word on whether Mischa Barton ever found the diet pills or acting coach she had misplaced backstage at the Grammys during Justin Timberlake's heartfelt apologia for the unfortunate events of February 1st, 2004.

[Why couldn't I just go with "apology" instead of "apologia" and get out cleanly? Did I think I was classing up this profound invasion of two young lovers' privacy by throwing around an italicized word. An apologia is a formal defense. Timberlake's apology wasn't formal, even though it sounded like it was written by a phalanx of p.r. flaks. Phalanx now? Why don't I just run a stale cliché like "warms the cockles of my heart" up the flagpole instead of trying to sound intelligent? And now I've gone and mucked up a post about the *very real* off-screen love between an adorable wiseacre and his smoking hot girlfriend with a bunch of Timberlake noise. I really hope that all of those stories about Musto getting his start dropping a digression about Johnny Mathis' chest hair into the middle of a blind item about Sinatra finger-blasting Jackie Onassis in the Lincoln Bedroom aren't apocryphal.]

There hasn't been this much behind-the-scenes sizzle since Jason Priestly zapped Shannon Doherty after just two episodes of 90210.

[Oh, real nice. And I already used sizzle.]

Sigh.

[I can't go out on a sigh, can I? Am I going to look as amateurish as I feel when ET and E! and all The OC fansites pick up on this item, assuming that their relationship isn't already common knowledge? It's painfully clear I'm really not cut out for dealing with reporting things that *actually happened*. Back to thinking up another supermodel sandwich anecdote for free as I starve to death...]



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. His day job is editor of Defamer, a blog about things that actually happen* in Hollywood.
[*well, mostly]
If You Like Bunsen, Then You'll Love Bunsen

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