Thursday, January 01, 2004
A Thought on the First of the Year
IT'S NEW YEAR'S Day. And that means college football bowl games. And that, in turn, means college football marching bands.
The only thing that could be more aesthetically displeasing than the college football marching band would be a set of bagpipes equipped with a spring-loaded, lead-filled boxing glove that would crush your balls into marzipan while you listened to the noise that emnates from that fucking tartan torture bag.
I know that the college marching band is part of a rich tradition. But I seem to remember a rich tradition in which conquering armies would enslave and rape the denizens of the towns they overran. But we haven't seen that on New Year's Day telelvision since at least 1953.
