Monday, January 05, 2004
Oops I Did It, Unwed Dept.
I SPENT MOST of my New York holiday vacation in a specially constructed sensory-deprivation tank: floating in an inflatable kiddie pool in my parent's living room, reading a National Geographic from 1988 (cover story: sea turtles in the Galapagos), watching a TV with all the channels V-chipped into oblivion except for CSPAN2. With dial-up on a Windows 95 machine running Netscape 2.0. And still I heard about Britney Spears' quickie Little White Wedding Chapel nuptials and subsequent Tijuana-style annulment. I fired up my buddy list when I finally returned to LA and immediately found a new IM friend.
An IM Conversation with Britney Spears' Downward Career Trajectory
BSDCT2004 [Britney Spears' Downward Career Trajectory]
BSDCT2004: hey what r u up 2?
HotBuns069: not much yo. u?
BSDCT2004: planning for 04
HotBuns069: looks like this is the year when u go totally tiffany on us
BSDCT2004: no way! totally hoping 4 debbie gibson, she stills workz, doesnt she?
HotBuns069: you cant plan on hanging around if u r getting married and totally annulled in Vegas. that dude iznt even famous yo!!!!
BSDCT2004: shizznit happens but were totally ready 4 the worst
HotBuns069: this iz worse than that madonna kiss. ive used more tongue on my tranny aunt marvins fake skinflap schlong
BSDCT2004: totally gross bro!!!!! but i c ur point. it got play everywhere tho.
HotBuns069: u r about 5 months away from leakin video of brit swallowing eminems sword
BSDCT2004: i like it!!! been there already tho lol
HotBuns069: i can do video if em isnt around. or dennis rodman.
BSDCT2004: were not that desper8 yet. maybe u need 2 talk 2 brit murphys downward career trajectory. hear shes smoking c-level baldwin pole
HotBuns069: fred durst wont even lie about u this year
BSDCT2004: thats totally low
HotBuns069: the murphy thing stung with hint of tha truth
BSDCT2004: whatevs. better let u go. got pints of haagen daz 2 buy 4 embarrassing fat us weekly photos
HotBuns069: omg i knew it!!!! good scoop. l8r!!!