Friday, December 05, 2003
If You Show Me Your Plaudits I'll Show You My Laurels Dept.
IT'S COME TO MY ATTENTION that this site has been nominated for Best Humor Blog in the 2003 Weblog Awards. I'm not sure if there were Weblog Awards in 2002, but if there were, I wasn't nominated, and, therefore, all involved might as well have been dead to me. Luckily, this year they've been resurrected in my eyes, the giant stone in front of the tomb of weblogging having been rolled away by my second biggest fan, and it's certainly an honor to be nominated, etc etc.
Interestingly, Dave Barry is among the nominees in this category. Mr. Barry, a writer famous for his columns about the inadequacy of flush force in many household toilet bowls, is syndicated in over one million newspapers across the globe and reportedly paid ten thousand dollars per word. Oh, and he has a blog. I'm sure that Mr. Barry would prefer to take time out of his "igniting stacks of twenties with the hooker of his choice just to see what hues the new, technicolor Andrew Jackson turns when singed with the end of a crackpipe" schedule to accept another accolade.
If that last sentence seems a bit labored, it's because I passed out from the fumes of my jealousy halfway through. Luckily, I was revived by Winona Ryder and a basket of smelling salts after she'd climbed through my window, lured in by a White Stripes CD I'd been playing. When I came to, she expressed some disappointment that she hadn't stumbled into the middle of a three-way with me and Jack and Meg White. Life is full of disappointments, I explained to her, and surely she could relate having had more bad musicians' lips on her than an oboe in an inner-city school marching band.
But I digress.
It's an honor to be nominated, etc etc, and I honestly don't care if you
click on this link and vote for me (Bunsen) one or more times.*
I enjoy thinking of myself as a "cult phenomenon" or "guilty pleasure." And unlike Winona, it's somewhat unlikely I'll be disappointed and run off and try to fuck Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum because he's the last guy with dreadlocks that told me my ears aren't too big.
They aren't, are they?
[*I've been assured that there are "mechanisms in place" that will prevent you from corrupting the voting process. Two CPA's from PriceWaterhouseCoopersTouchersonwickNtage who have never heard of Dave Barry, but who nonetheless harbor a lingering, elusive dissatisfaction with the performance of their wimpy toilets, are crouched over the IP and referrer logs, ready to "flush" any vote tampering. ]