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Friday, November 07, 2003

 

You Deserve a List Today



And the final installment of Retroactively Declared List Week:

Things That I Have Recently and Unexpectedly Won in the McDonald's Monopoly Game

--A McLean Deluxe and a delightful afternoon among digestion-friendly pastel hues and a Muzak soundtrack of hit Toni Braxton singles;

--A sausage McGriddle and a newfound sense of self-worth;

--A super-size Double Quarter Pounder meal and mainstream acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle as long as they occur in a television sitcom;

--A nagging suspicion that I should have surrendered my seat to the elderly woman standing next to me, clutching an eighty-five cent cup of coffee, shame that I realize that I don't want to give up my seat, then relief as her rheumatoid arthritis flares up, causing her to drop the cup and retreat from the restaurant, absently rubbing the back of her hand and muttering about the humidity, and me entertaining the fleeting thought that I'd caused her arthritis attack with my mind;

--Two-thirds of a DVD player (does the Ventnor Avenue gamepiece even exist?) and a devil-may care attitude about unrest in Baghdad;

--A daydream involving a circa-1978 Charo and a carafe of tapioca pudding, and small fries;

--Ten seconds of inexplicable rage so intense that I wonder if I am strangling drifters while I am supposedly sleeping, and a coupon for a dozen McRib sandwiches during their next limited run;

--A Fish Sandwich



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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