The Greatest Blog In the World

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

 

Another Dispatch Regarding America's Favorite Boudoir Film



Let me be the first to claim that I was on the other end of that cell phone coitus interruptus in the Paris Hilton tape and post my transcipt of the conversation:

[Cell phone rings.]

Paris: Hello? Daddy?

Bunsen: Can the dirty talk right now, baby. I gotta talk fast, stay with me, from what I hear about Rick, we don't have much time here. Listen, I got the satellite feed. First of all, I told you to use more candles for light. This night-vision thing is going to make half of America think that they're masturbating to a bad X-files episode. Also, try to keep yourself in the frame as much as possible. No one wants to see a Rick Solomon tape, dig? Later we can have PR leak that it was Colin Farrell.

Solomon [off camera]: Fuck the phone!

Paris: Gotta go!

Bunsen: Don't neglect the balls. You have a public to think of.

[The call is disconnected, and B-list sexual history is made.]



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
If You Like Bunsen, Then You'll Love Bunsen
-->

Archives