Friday, October 03, 2003
Friday Afternoon Bonus Post, Like an Extra Cookie Before Naptime
Other Creative Ways Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Sexually Harassed Women, But for Which He is Very Sorry
--Gallantly placing his jacket over a mud puddle to allow a woman to cross, then pulling away the jacket to reveal that the mud puddle was actually his exposed genitalia
--Whispering "I'll be back...in your back door," to the craft service lady, then adding, "by that I mean attempting to have anal sex with you."
--Showing a campaign staffer the failed result of an attempt to have "Gubernatorial Monster" tattooed in henna on the steroid-ravaged remains of "Lil Arnold"
--Bawling crocodile tears while candidly admitting "I'm married to Maria Shriver, for Chrissakes, her face is all right angles!" before cupping a breast
--Concocting an elaborate innuendo drawing together a cigar, a Hummer, the recall election, his erection, the Terminator, his Austrian homeland, and for reasons not entirely clear to anyone, a Daschund