Friday, August 15, 2003
A Fair and Balanced List of One, Followed by a Delightfully Fair and Balanced Vignette Starring My Testicles and the Top of a Media Baron's Head
One thing that is more Fair and Balanced than Fox News Channel's reporting:
My balls on top of Rupert Murdoch's head as he serves me a delicious martini, asking me if I think the shine on my left shoe, which he has just spit-polished, is as good as that of my right shoe.
"How's the lawsuit going, Rupee?" I ask him.
"Not quite like as well as we'd hoped. It seems that advocates of free speech have their nuts in a twist over this," he says.
"Speaking of nuts, " I say, "please talk a little softer. Moving your jaw is really making my balls bounce in a most uncomfortable fashion."
"Sorry, sir," he says, softly, freshening my drink. "How long do we have to do this?"
"As long as it takes, my little Rupee," I say, a long ash on the end of my Parliament 100 tumbling onto his shoulder. "As long as it takes."