Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Lists are Easier to Write Dept.
Ten Headline Puns Likely to be Used in Reviews of the New Jane's Addiction Album
--Jane's Got a New Addiction
--Totally Addicted to Jane's New Sounds
--Easy to Kick This New Addiction
--Jane's Addiction Kicks the Hiatus Habit, Releases New Album
--Not So Addictive, This New Jane
--Lollapalicious New Album from Jane's Addiction
--Been Caught Stealing: New Jane's Album Leads Unauthorized Downloads
--I Am So Addicted to Heroin That I Could Not Afford to Buy the New Jane's Addiction Album
--I Fear Perry Farrell Is Going to Rape Me in My Dreams, Jane's Addiction Releases New Album
--I Find Myself Strangely Attracted to Dave Navarro When He Wears a Corset Despite the Fact That His Creative Facial Hair Clearly Reveals Him to be Male and I Am Pretty Sure I'm Not a Homosexual
Special Bonus Section: Five Sensational, Cynical Attempts to Lure Googlers to this Site By Citing Hot-Button Current Events:
--Look here for nude pictures of Kobe Bryant's rape accuser buying drugs for overdose!
--Hero POW Jessica Lynch returns home for welcome back blast at Hooter's
--Tony Blair's exclusive yellowcake suicide recipe!
--"Hunting for Bambi" entrepreneurs add "Hooker Bow-hunting" to extreme-sports package
--Space shuttle Challenger tragedy jokes clumsily adapted for Santa Monica Farmer's Market tragedy
