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Tuesday, July 29, 2003

 

I Have Used the Term Listapalooza in the Past



Page Six reports that Kevin Smith's daughter walked in on him and his wife* having sexual relations, or as they called it, "night-swimming."

In the interest of fulfulling the weekly list quota recently imposed upon this blog by the Instapundit (the Internet's blogging dictator, whom I never read out of blinding jealousy), here are several new euphemisms for Kevin Smith having sex:

--Chasing Amy with a Red Hot Weasel

--Making the Beast with Two Backs and Two Black Trenchcoats

--Silent Bobbing and Kneeling (Dogma-style only)

--Night-fucking

--Afflecking

--Getting Rewritten by Tim Burton on Superman

--Sucking 37 Cocks Minus 36 on the Way Through the Parking Lot

--Mallrats was a Piece of Shit and We're Fucking


Or, perhaps, some nights he can't perform because "Weinstein gets final cut." To which his wife might respond, "Don't worry it happens to every guy...even Scorcese."


[*It should be noted that Smith has a hot wife because he is fat and funny, not because he is rich and famous.]



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This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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