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Wednesday, February 12, 2003

 

"Oscar" is a Registered Trademark of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Dept.



AMPAS Announces Nominations for the 75th Annual Academy Awards


To insure that black actors will not win Oscars in consecutive years, this year the Academy nominated Queen Latifah as Best Supporting Actress


In keeping with its reputation as the leading source of timely and accurate information about the world of entertainment, WFOoBH presents its brief Production Notes for each of the five films nominated for Best Picture.

"Chicago": Actually filmed on location in several Pizzeria Uno locations nationwide...Catherine Zeta-Jones is not actually 34 years old as she claims, but rather 58 and from the moon rather than Wales...Renee Zellweger managed her second Oscar nomination despite not gaining twenty-five pounds for the role.

"Gangs of New York": To lend gritty authenticity to the massive sets built for the film, Martin Scorcese only hired Irish immigrants who had not bathed since the Draft Riots of 1863 to lie about and swill homemade ales...Daniel Day Lewis prepared for his Oscar-nominated turn as Bill the Butcher by spending five months in the company of people named Bill...Leonardo DiCaprio proved himself to be just one of the guys by treating the entire Italian crew to pedicures.

"The Hours": Named "Ultimate Chick Flick of 2002" by Your Balls in Her Purse Magazine...due to long hours on the set and in each other's company, the menstrual cycles of Nicole Kidman and Jullianne Moore synchronized, while Meryl Streep merely pretended that hers also fell into step; Streep entered menopause in 2001...Streep regularly flexed her chameleonic acting prowess by portraying Kidman's prosthetic nose in Virginia Woolf sections of the film.

"The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers": Upon hearing of his LOTR films being nominated for Best Picture for the second consecutive year, director Peter Jackson drove to the Skywalker Ranch in Marin County, CA to personallly kick George Lucas in the ass and to tauntingly shave the "Star Wars" auteur's beard with a pink Lady Schick...Sean Astin shared daily anecdotes about his feet actually being hairy since his apperance in "The Goonies"...Viggo Mortensen somewhat defensively recounted his triumph in his "G.I. Jane" fight scenes with Demi Moore around the craft services table, begrudgingly lauding the efficacy of Moore's left hook and massive fake breasts..

"The Pianist": Is not the story of famed composer Marvin Hamlisch's guest-hosting turn on The Muppet Show...takes radical stance within the entertainment community that the Holocaust was bad...director Roman Polanski is still wanted in the United States for a statutory rape conviction and is considered a fugitive from the law.



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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