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Friday, February 14, 2003

 

Dept. of Corrections



How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days: A Day-by-Day Plan: Revised**

Day 1: Fuck his best friend. Claim you were drunk.
Day 2: Fuck his brother. Claim you were vulnerable.
Day 3: Fuck his ex-girlfriend. Claim you were experimenting.
Day 4: Fuck his dentist. Claim it was the gas.
Day 5: Fuck his sister. Claim you were just making sure.
Day 6: Fuck his stepfather. Claim it was your daddy issues.
Day 7: Fuck his favorite waitress: Claim he was waiting to do it himself anyway,
Day 8: Fuck his mother: Claim you just need to express that side of yourself.
Day 9: Fuck his father: Claim they have the same expressive eyes.
Day 10: Fuck him. Tell him you just got back from his best friend's house.

[**It was pointed out that perhaps the original 10-day Plan was labeled in the wrong order. So I am re-posting this list in the correct order. We regret the error and hope that an acceptable level of hilarity can be salvaged from this oversight.]



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This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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