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Wednesday, February 12, 2003

 

Advice for the Determinedly Lovelorn Section



"How to Lose A Guy" is No. 1 movie

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days: A Day-by-Day Plan

Day 10: Fuck his best friend. Claim you were drunk.
Day 9: Fuck his brother. Claim you were vulnerable.
Day 8: Fuck his ex-girlfriend. Claim you were experimenting.
Day 7: Fuck his dentist. Claim it was the gas.
Day 6: Fuck his sister. Claim you were just making sure.
Day 5: Fuck his stepfather. Claim it was your daddy issues.
Day 4: Fuck his favorite waitress: Claim he was waiting to do it himself anyway,
Day 3: Fuck his mother: Claim you just need to express that side of yourself.
Day 2: Fuck his father: Claim they have the same expressive eyes.
Day 1: Fuck him. Tell him you just got back from his best friend's house.



About this site

This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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