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Tuesday, January 28, 2003

 

News As It Happens Dept.



WFOoBH presents an abbreviated text of the President's State of the Union address, convenient to be consumed at red lights, while shaving, or on quicky bathroom breaks:

Economy bad, need new jobs, spend money. Healthcare expensive, bad. Environment bad. Democrats bad. Abortion bad. Dividend tax-cut good. Terrorists bad. Terrorists very bad. More terrorists, more bad. Bioterrorism bio-bad. United Nations are pussies. Iraq bad. Freedom good. Iran bad. North Korea extra bad. Saddam Hussein bad, very bad. War inevitable. Bioweapons bad. Chemical weapons bad. Uranium bad. Killing scientists bad. Saddam soooo bad. Evil bad. Defiance bad. War still happening. America good! War, uh huh. Freeeeeedommmm! God blesses America.

A list of words stumbled over or mispronounced (compiled in real time):

--"Congresseses" (Congresses)
--"Significkly" (significantly)
--"Tera" (terror)
--"Wherch" (which)
--"Botulinimin" (botulinum)
--"Peninchula" x 2 (peninsula)
--"Nucular" x 8 (nuclear) [an old-timey fave!]
--"offers" (officers)
--"furl" (full)
--"tarist" (terrorist)
--"hara" (horror)
--"forshed" (forced)
--"lil'egal" (illegal)

Bush pronounces words like Winona pays for expensive clothes!

But hey, he's getting better. He didn't flub "regime" even once.



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This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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