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Wednesday, November 20, 2002


Jacko's Backo Section

Jackson Sorry After Baby Stunt Shocks Fans

On Wendnesday, erstwhile King of Pop Michael Jackson apologized for a stunt in which he dangled his infant son, Prince Michael II, from the window of his fourth-floor hotel room in Berlin.

"I know what I did troubled some of my fans," said Jackson. "It was irresponsible of me." Jackson wiped away a few tears before continuing. "I've always wanted to dangle something that I love from a high window in Germany. But because of customs rules, I was unable to bring Bubbles, my chimp, or one of the llamas. Dangling a llama, even if I were allowed to bring one into this fine country, would be logistically difficult. So in lieu of endangering something I love, I used this baby that was sold to me for ten thousand dollars by an at-risk family. The baby has devil eyes. They never glowed more red then when precariously hanging above the throng of my fans, daring me to drop him and be rescued from this mortal coil."

Jackson added, "My trip will end in Russia, where livestock import rules are much more lax and bribes readily taken. I've called ahead and the llama harness is being prepared. I'm so excited I'm whistling through my nose hole. I love you all."

[Thanks to WFOoBH head German liason Helga Schildenbruegger for additional reporting.]

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This is the internet home of Mark Lisanti, a Los Angeles writer sometimes known as Bunsen. He is the founding editor of Defamer, a weblog about Hollywood, where he now serves in the nebulous capacity of "editor-at-large."
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