Wednesday, November 20, 2002
Commentary from the Mail Bag
[Moments after posting the last feature, this appeared in my inbox.]
Michael Jackson is an Easy Target
I am a regular reader of you're [sic] web site. I expect interesting and unique opinions and commintary [sic] on the events of the day. But picking on Michael Jackson (yes, Jack-o, whatever, we get it) is too easy. Yes, he seems to assexually [sic] reproduce and is starting a collection of children. Yes, he has a personal zoo. Yes, his nose seems to have vannished [sic], and there is some sort of disturbing hole he's hiding beneath a surgikal [sic] mask. Yes, he has gotten into trouble for possibly having improper relations with miners [sic] (none of which were proven, only alledged [sic]). Yes, he was once the King of Pop, selling millions upon millions of records and profundly [sic] influencing generations of pop musicians. Yes, he is now a shell of what he once was, suing his record company because he's no longer popular or interesting, and calling people the 'white devil' in retalliation [sic] even though he has not put out an interesting song in about a decade. Yes, he had a sham marriage to Elvis' daughter to rehabilitate his public image. Yes, he and Tito once kept a janitor hostage for three days at Neverland Ranch, asking him to recite Vincent Price's voiceover from 'Thriller' over and over while dunking his head in an old urinal cake. Yes, he claimed to have invented movable tipeset [sic]. Yes, he is secretly Diana Ross.
All of this makes him too convenient a target. Your coverage of the Former King of Pop is bush league and hack. Please find a more suitable target for your vittriol [sic]. Do not kick a King while his Kingdom is in a shammbles [sic] at his feet.