Monday, September 02, 2002
Dept. of Persecution
Winona may have been handled more harshly than average shoplifter
When asked whether or not Ryder was being prosecuted more aggresively because of her celebrity status, Los Angeles District Attorney Marv Richardson replied, "When you were in fifth grade, did you ever punch a girl in the arm because you liked her? I mean, damn, this is Winona Ryder! Do you think she likes my suit?" He continued, "One more Winona Ryder bit and this office will seek an injunction against your web site. Come on, we all know that she's beautiful and steals things, and that there's something dangerous and crazy and really, really hot about that, but do you have to beat us over the head with it?"
"Don't worry. You're not famous, nor hot. You won't do any time," said the District Attorney, then added, "She must be a real wildcat in bed."
