Wednesday, June 12, 2002
Winonamaniapaloozafest
This week's Newsweek drops a little joint about the fallout from Ms. Ryder's recent retail indiscretions, ranging for picking on her recent choices in movies ("Autumn in New York," "Lost Souls") and other hot/hip/young actresses whose flashpanning careers have left the doe-eyed starlet in the dust of late (Gwynnie, Reese Witherspoon, et al).
Things found jammed in Winona's purse that fateful day in Saks Fifth Avenue:
1. Johnny Depp's codpiece from "Edward Scissorhands"
2. map with secret location of current whereabouts of Soul Asylum
3. travel alarm clock borrowed from Harrison Ford's nightstand
4. Phone number of drummer brother of quick-thinking security guard that nabbed her
5. Hollywood Blvd. souvenir-shop Oscar statue bearing inscription "Best Supporting Friend" (consolation prize given to her by Angelina Jolie after her win for "Girl, Interrupted")
6. $17,000 ermine coat liberated from PETA rally protestor
7. Lots and lots of things that she "forgot to pay for." Get it? She steals things!
